How to bust a (coco) nut in Guam.

Just prior to our weekend in Oahu, we took a nice little hike to a secluded little beach on the northwestern side of the island. I think it was about 40 min walk. Up and down some small coral rock formations that break up the sandy stretches and through the water around some others that didn't look as easy to climb, and we soon found our little sandy slice of Guamness.
Matt, Vic, and Katherine initiated the hike and KW and I thought it was definitely worth it. They all snorkeled and said it was pretty good (which translates to very good in other parts of the world). Something about a 75' anenome filled with clown fish....and chock full of other stuff. Three guys snorkeled by that were catching octopus. They were the only intruders into our day of sand and sun.

So, what to do after a good hike, and some sun and surf? How about busting a nut with Catherine, matt and myself. Sounds like fun? Tasty too!!

So, it's not really as hard as cartoons can make it out to be. First, try to climb the palm tree and knock one down. After that doesn't work, grab a large stick and knock a nice green one down. Smash it on a rock or log and taste it. Pretty nasty. Next, go take the stick and knock down a brown one that is ripe and infinitely harder. Spend a half hour or so cracking it on a coral chunk and a log. Don't bother with the Catherine-inspired sea shell cutting technique. No matter how sharp the shell is...it's a pain. Besides, the ever-prepared Matt had a knife.
Once you get the outer shell off, the inner nut is the good part. Surprisingly, the cartoons are inaccurate regarding this part too..... the three little dark spots don't wink at you. So, take a knife and stab two of the holes and cut the "eyes" out. One is for drinking out of, the other is for venting. Don't mix the blood from Matt's cut finger into the coconut milk though. That would be nasty. The eyes are the softest part, and make it easy to not spill the coconut milk. A Dewalt drill would be better, but the knife worked well. Once you drink the yummyness, smash the nut on something hard and eat the white part inside. Delicious and good for your hike back. A machete would cut your time from half an hour to under a minute. But, at least if you Gilligan Island yourself in the tropics without one, you can eat nicely.
Extra credit Bonus.....
Carefully crack the shell in half and make your female companion a coconut bikini top. She likely won't wear it, but at least the thought was there.